Sometimes I Lose & Sometimes I Win, But I Always Keep Trying

Have you ever worked really hard at something, not given up, yet you weren't able to hit the mark?  People around you tell you to keep trying.  People say if you don't give up, you'll make it.  But inside, you're saying, "But I've been working at this for years and still nothing is budging for me.  What's wrong?  Why is everyone else winning and I'm losing?  Is is time to give up?  Am I just a loser?"  That's the self-doubt.  That's the inner negative bias.  That's the inner critique telling you to walk away and go cry into your pillow.

If you've felt that way, then you know how sad and frustrating it can be to be an artist.  Believe me, I've wanted to give up.  But as often as I say I'm going to quit, I pick myself up after a good cry and start over again.  I'm starting to understand myself.  I'm starting to see that sometimes I lose and sometimes I win, but I never really give up.  I actually keep at it.  I keep trying.  I'm not sure what keeps me going.  I don't really have family who believes in me.  And I don't have deep friendships or buddies who support what I do.  I just keep at it.  I guess it's just that I love making things.

I've been making little post-it art for the annual Post-It Art Show at Giant Robot in Los Angeles for a few years.  Sometimes, I sell and sometimes I don't.  I never know what will excite and thrill art buyers and I've never known who buys my artwork.  For the 2016 show, I didn't have a lot of time to make anything, so I only drew 1 little post-it.  You can see it below.  

Since hundreds of little post-it art pieces are made and sold, it can take a long time before the artists know if their artwork sold.  The show is in December each year.  A few days ago, I finally heard that my 2016 post-it drawing sold.  That's 5 months later.  Yes, it was a win this time.  My little drawing of bunny girls connected with an art buyer.  Whoever you are, thanks for giving the bunny girls a new home where art is cherished and loved.  I appreciate it.  And it gives me hope to carry on making more artwork.